Photo by Q Thomas Bower

Before, during, and after fights there are many opportunities for sliding door moments. I recently had a fight with my husband. Nothing major but for some reason I was particularly angry and did not go about expressing my feelings in the best way possible. After a few tries we finally talked enough that we were both satisfied and you could tell it was over. After having some time to think about what I had said and how I had said it I realized I was taking my feelings out on my husband. He was right. I was not being fair to him. Because the fight was over I could have easily let this go and never admitted I was wrong or not being as supportive as I could have been. I even thought saying anything else on the topic might reignite the flames and we would be fighting all over again. Fortunately, I saw this opportunity for what it was a sliding door moment to let him know I had thought about what he said and realized I had messed up.

Apologizing and admitting you are wrong can be fairly difficult for a lot of us. No one likes to look at themselves and recognize mistakes. This is why doing so means that much more to our partners. They know how hard it is and are usually very grateful when receiving an apology.

Learn more about John Gottman’s sliding door moments, in the article What Makes Love Last: Sliding Door Moments.

Michelle Puster M.Ed. | Licensed Professional Counselor
Helping disconnected couples grow closer
Couples & Marriage Counseling Katy, TX